Countdown to St. Charles

It is officially time to start my countdown to the American Music Therapy Association national conference. I am SO looking forward to being in the company of over 1400 music therapists and music therapy students in just under 8 days!

I have always gone to national conference - ever since 1996 when I was asked to present for the first time. I am not as apt to go to the regional conferences (mainly because I have to use all my professional days for AMTA), but I always go to the national conference.

In the old days, when I was a new therapist, I went to the conference in an attempt to get as much information as I could possibly cram into the four days. I was always challenged by thoughts of inadequacy when I would sit and watch phenomenal music therapists talk about their use of music as a therapeutic medium. I would leave feeling challenged and not quite up to the par of other therapists. My thoughts and perceptions of myself were based on what I saw others doing. I always felt that I wasn't doing enough.

These feelings lasted for several years until I had an epiphany.

One conference, I was sitting in a session promoting new ideas for working with persons in geriatric settings. The presenter announced that we would sing, In My Merry Oldsmobile. I started singing right along with the rest of the audience and then had to stop after the first two lines. I had no idea how the rest of the song went!

"Great," I thought to myself, "I am such a bad music therapist. I don't even know one of the old standards." Then, I had my epiphany. I looked around the room and noticed that most of the people that were in attendance were therapists I associated with the geriatric population. I have rarely worked with folks in nursing homes. I work with kids. I suddenly realized that none of the therapists sitting near me would be able to recognize a song by Britney Spears (this was a LONG time ago) if they had to, and I could play them on my guitar, WITHOUT MUSIC! That was the moment that I stopped being so hard on myself as a music therapist. I started to realize that we each have a role to play in our profession. My role was not to be UBERTHERAPIST, but just MJ Landaker, Music Therapist for children, adolescents, and others who come to me. I was then able to relax and not pressure myself into expecting me to do everything all at once!

These days, I spend most of my time at conference in meetings or presenting to others. I have sixteen obligations to attend during the conference - meetings, presentations, social events, more meetings. I move from appointment to appointment and do not always get to sit in presentations. I miss being able to sit and listen to what other music therapists are doing out there in the clinical world. I suppose this is part of my professional development just like my earlier feelings were part of that development.

So, onto the next part of my professional development.

See you in St. Charles!

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